A Personal Guide To Deal With Mental Hardships

Updated: Jul 9, 2021

Random | By @poojadkakde


All tough phases of my life have exposed me to valuable life lessons. This is a personal record of all those lessons that helped me conquer my life’s challenges in a heroic way. And, needless to say, I’ll be sticking with these for a longer time ahead.


Representative Picture: A still from Dear Zindagi


To deal with your emotions, you first got to accept them.


A human mind is bound to feel a varied range of emotions – this is no rocket science, but a silly fact. Sometimes, you will feel good about your thoughts and sometimes you won’t.


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Many times, the other person has made me uncomfortable and as a reaction, I’ve had negative thoughts for him/her. I denied such thoughts, thinking of myself as Kamolika (Dark character from Ekta Kapoor's daily soap). This mindset was only making things worse.


People's conditioning has been in a manner that it’s illegal to have bad thoughts about someone. So, when we actually have them, we end up in frustration, falling for an identity crisis.


In simple words: You will deny what you feel, there will be confusion, your mind will be swinging back and forth like a pendulum and you’ll suffer throughout.


So better, accept what you feel without judging yourself and then it will be easier to work on it.


“Sometimes you need to sit lonely on the floor in a quiet room in order to hear your own voice and not let it drown in the noise of others.”Charlotte Eriksson, Author and Song Writer

Dig to the root of your suffering by asking yourself questions.


Take out time for YOU – people rarely do that.


Out of habit, I conduct a quiet therapy session where I take turns to be both the client and the therapist.


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To figure things out, I ask myself a ton of questions, some general ones are:

1. What am I feeling exactly at the moment?

2. Who is responsible for this feeling?

3. If there is a person responsible for my suffering – How and why is that person important?

4. What did I not like about the entire situation? What things are under my control?

5. What are my willing steps to focus on what’s under my control? Am I doing the needful?

6. Does this supposed problem affect my life? How?


This whole thing always helps me out. You might want to give it a try as well. It’s almost a feeling of victory when we take matters into our own hands.


Out of everything you want, classify what is in your hand, and focus on that.


I have learnt throughout my journey that I can’t always take responsibility for ‘who does what’. It’s a terrible headache if I ponder over stuff and expect everybody to behave my way because that’s not happening.


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So, in any disturbing situations, I allow myself to calm down, introspect what I want and can do, and bring my attention to that.


“It is not a person or situation that affects your life; it is the meaning you give to that person or situation, which influences your emotions and actions.
Your choice is to change the meaning you gave it or to change your response, in order to create the outcome you want.”
Shannon L. Alder, Author

Believe that this is a passing phase – the sun will rise again.

Nothing is permanent in this world – let alone our sorrows. Try to think of a bigger picture and keep faith that good things will come, and keep doing what is essential.


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And, remember, yet we glorify ourselves; we are all in the same boat!


Take a break from the suffering.


Whenever overburdened, I’ll close my eyes, bring my mind to a neutral state and teach myself to relax.


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I can’t always jump from feeling unhappy to happy, so neutral is what I aim for at the start, and gradually I move ahead.


At times, I meditate, go for a walk or meet a friend. We can do anything that will work for us without any repercussions.


Never give others more importance than yourself.

When you value others more than yourself, you will want to exceed your capabilities. This will lead yourself to exhaustion and draining out. Even after this, you won’t have satisfaction – you’ll always carry the guilt of not being enough.


“It is impossible to lead your life for others’ happiness.”Sudha Murty, Wise & Otherwise

I fall into this trap many times and then I remind myself, “Everyone around is as human as me, then why bother? Don’t be so hard on yourself. Take a chill pill.”


Stay in the present.


Your present needs your attention more than anything else. Look for the beauty around you and embrace it.


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“Be happy at the moment, that’s enough. Each moment is all we need, not more.” Mother Teresa

Distance yourself from the source of your disturbance.


When I was in college, my only best friend of two years betrayed me over a new group of friends. She vanished from my life without giving me any explanation. When we’d cross paths, she acted like a stranger. I had felt terrible thinking about what exactly happened. I’ve struggled to talk to her, but she did not pay heed.


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So, this friend, let’s call her Sneha, was the source of my disturbance for a long while. In an attempt to solve this problem, I later let go of her. I deleted her contact number, put a full stop to any expectations from her and moved on. Life never stops at one person.

Look at yourself as an individual, and not as someone else’s responsibility.

The reason why I’m saying this is because entitlement brings expectations. And the more I’ll expect, the more I’ll lose faith in myself to sort things out, in turn making myself handicap.



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In time, I have taught myself to take charge of situations that are bothering me – that’s how I have gotten through even the worse of situations.


Talk about your suffering with people you trust.


As an independent content creator and a writer, I doubt sometimes, if I’ll ever be able to make it big. There are always people around, pushing their fears on me saying, “This work is good for a hobby, find a real job,” “How are you going to make money out of this?” “You are wasting your time sitting at home and doing nothing,” etc.


There are times, when I myself have such doubts, let alone people.


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I have faith in myself, but for those low moments, I talk with people I trust. The significance of this is, as a third person, they will give you a perspective you’d never think of. They will most likely encourage you to reach your destination.


Your mind will always be under your control – remember that!

As humans, our superpower is to be able to control our minds. Unfortunately, we fail to recognize this and fall prey to stress, exhaustion, drama, negativity and whatnot.


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Breathe when you feel stressed, and repeat to yourself this wonderful line by William Ernest Henley, “I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.


Give yourself exposure.


You are not the only one who is suffering. Everyone has got their problems, and many of us are positively dealing with them. Teach yourself hope from other’s journey.


If not a living example, then consider the books written, movies made, art created on the central thing you are concerned about.


Explore them – you will get hope from other’s journey.


Analyze your choices and be aware of its cost.

What you are facing at the moment has a direct or indirect connection to the choices you've made or are making. Either own your choices and face the consequences or make another choice. It’s as simple as that.


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Last but not the least, we got to remind ourselves that we’ve got one life and we are all temporary here. In the end, what matters is what we think of ourselves and what we make out of it.


Thank You for reading. Hope you found this helpful. if you want to share your lessons, feel free to write them in the comments. I'd love to see what you share.


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I'll see you with another blog post on the coming Sunday. See You. #happyreading